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Romeo & Juliet
 


 
ACT I, Scene v
Act I, Scene v: A hall in Capulet's house. Enter servingmen, with napkins. (Musicians waiting.)
FIRST SERVANT
  Where's Potpan? He's not helping us take the plates away. He carries a wooden platter! He scrapes a wooden plate!
SECOND SERVANT
  When household manners rest in the hands of only one or two people--and their hands dirty at that--it's disgusting.
FIRST SERVANT
  Take these folding stools away, remove the sideboard, watch the silverware. Save me a piece of marzipan, and if you're really a friend, tell the doorman to let in Susan Grindstone Nell (for our own party). Anthony and Potpan!
SECOND SERVANT
  Yes, boy, get ready.
Enter THIRD SERVANT.
FIRST SERVANT (to Third Servant)
  We've looked for you, called for you, and searched for you in the dance hall.
THIRD SERVANT
  We can't be here and there, too. Be cheerful, boys, and be quick. To the one who lives longest go the spoils!
They exit.
Enter CAPULET with JULIET, TYBALT, and others of his house to greet the guests, ROMEO and others in disguise.
CAPULET
  Welcome, gentlemen! Those ladies who don't have
corns on their toes will dance with you.
Ah, dear ladies, which of you
will not refuse to dance? If you hesitate,
I'll swear you have corns. Did any of you think that joke hit home?
Welcome, gentlemen! I remember the time
when I too wore a mask and
whispered sweet nothings in a beautiful lady's ear
to please her. That's all in the past now, long gone!
You are welcome, gentlemen! Come, musicians, play.
Music plays and they dance.
  Clear the hall! Make room! Dance, girls!
Give us more light, you rascals, and get the tables out of the way.
Put out the fire--the room has grown too hot.
Ah, sir, these party-crashers are welcome.
No, sit down, my good relative Capulet,
for you and I are past our dancing days.
How long has it been since you and I
wore a mask?
SECOND CAPULET
  I swear, it's been thirty years.
CAPULET
  What, it can't be that long, not that long!
It was last at the wedding of Lucentio,
around Pentecost, whenever that comes,
some twenty-five years ago that we wore masks.
SECOND CAPULET
  No, longer, it was longer ago than that! Lucentio's son is older, sir.
His son is thirty.
CAPULET
  How can you say that?
His son was still a minor just two years ago.
ROMEO (to Servant)
  Who is the lady who graces the hand
of that gentlemen over there?
SERVANT
  I don't know, sir.
ROMEO
  O, she teaches the torches to burn brightly!
She hangs upon the face of night
like a rich jewel in an Ethiopian's ear--
her beauty is too rich to be touched, too heavenly for this earth!
She looks like a snow-white dove dancing among crows,
she is so much more beautiful than the other ladies.
When this dance is over, I'll see where she stands,
and I'll make my coarse hand blessed by touching her hand.
Did I ever love anyone before now? My eyes will swear
that I never saw real beauty until tonight.
TYBALT (overhearing Romeo)
  That man has the voice of a Montague.
Get me my sword, boy. How dare this low-life
come here, disguised by a comic mask,
to mock and scorn our banquet?
Now by my family's good name and reputation,
I wouldn't hold it a sin to kill him.
CAPULET
  What's wrong nephew? Why are you so angry?
TYBALT
  Uncle, that man is a Montague, our enemy.
He's a villain who has come in hatred
to mock our banquet tonight.
CAPULET
  That is young Romeo, isn't it?
TYBALT
  Yes, it is the villain Romeo.
CAPULET
  Calm down, gentle nephew, leave him alone.
He carries himself like a dignified gentlemen,
and to tell the truth, Verona's citizens say
that he is a good, well-mannered youth…
I would not for all the riches in this town
harm him here in my house.
Be patient and pay no attention to him.
Those are my wishes, which if you'll respect,
you'll put on a cherry face and stop frowning.
Your frowns aren't proper at a feast.
TYBALT
  My frowns are fitting when you have a villain for a guest.
I will not tolerate his presence.
CAPULET
  You will tolerate him!
What do you mean, boy? I say he shall stay! Be off!
Am I the master here, or are you? Be off!
You'll not stand him? By heaven!
You'll disturb the guests!
You'll bring about a riot! You'll play the big hero!
TYBALT
  Uncle, this is a disgrace to us.
CAPULET
  Enough, enough!
You're a rude boy, aren't you? So this is the way it is?
This suggestion of yours may just hurt you. I know what's behind this.
You are compelled to contradict me. I swear it's time--
(To the dancers) Well done, friends--(To Tybalt) You are impertinent --Go away!
Be quiet, or--(To servants) More light, give us more light! (To Tybalt) Shame on you!
I'll shut you up.--(To dancers) Have fun, friends.
TYBALT
  The clash of forced self-control when it meets with anger
makes me shake from the different emotions.
I'll leave, but Romeo's intrusion,
which now seems sweet, will be bitterly regretted.
ROMEO (to Juliet)
  If I abuse with my unworthy hand
    your holy shrine, here's the fine I'll pay:
  that my lips, like two blushing pilgrims, stand ready
    to smooth away my rough touch with a tender kiss.
JULIET
  Good pilgrim, your hands are not rough as you say.
    The touch of your hand is sufficient devotion.
  Even saints greet pilgrims by touching hands,
    and holding hands is the pilgrim's greeting.
ROMEO
  Don't saints have lips, and religious pilgrims, too?
JULIET
  Yes, pilgrim. They have lips which they use to pray.
ROMEO
  O, then, dear saint, let lips touch as hands do.
Lips pray, you know, so faith won't turn to despair.
JULIET
  Saints do not usually take action, though they may grant favors prayed for.
ROMEO
  Then don't move while I receive what I prayed for.
My lips, by yours, will be cleansed of sin.
He kisses her.
JULIET
  Now my lips have taken on your sin.
ROMEO
  Sin from my lips? That is a sin that is sweetly suggested.
Give me my sin again.
He kisses her again.
JULIET
  You kiss as though you researched the subject.
NURSE
  Madam, your mother wants to speak with you.
ROMEO
  Who is her mother?
NURSE
  Why, bachelor, her mother is the lady of this house.
And she is a good lady, as well as being wise and virtuous.
I nursed her daughter with whom you spoke.
I tell you, the man who can marry her
will have a lot of money.
ROMEO
  Is she a Capulet?
What a costly account! My life is at the mercy of my enemy.
BENVOLIO
  Let's go. The party is over.
ROMEO
  Yes, I'm afraid so; I am worried.
CAPULET
  No, gentlemen, don't go.
There's still a modest feast to come.
(They whisper in his ear) Is that so? Well then, thank you.
Thanks to all of you honest gentlemen. Good night.
Bring more torches here! (Maskers leave) Come on then, let's go to bed.
Ah, sir, by my faith, it's late.
I'll go to bed.
All but JULIET and the NURSE leave.
JULIET
  Come here, nurse. Who is that gentlemen?
NURSE
  The son and heir of old Tiberio.
JULIET
  Who is that going out the door now?
NURSE
  Indeed, I think that's young Petruchio.
JULIET
  Who is the one who is following behind--the one who would not dance?
NURSE
  I don't know.
JULIET
  Go and ask what his name is. (To herself) If he is married,
my grave will probably be my wedding bed.
NURSE (leaves and then returns)
  His name is Romeo, Romeo Montague.
He's the only son of your great enemy.
JULIET
  My only love springs from my only hate!
I saw him too early when I didn't know him, and now I realize who he is too late!
This is a horrible beginning to love
that I must love a hated enemy.
NURSE
  What is this? What are you saying?
JULIET
  A rhyme I just learned from someone
I just danced with.
Someone calls Juliet's name from offstage.
NURSE
  We're coming!
Come, let's go; the strangers are all gone.
They exit.